Everyone knows how hard it is to have a successful long distance relationship. There are so many important factors that make a relationship grow that are lacking in this type of relationship. Being in one can really take a toll even to the most loyal and patient person. However, hard as it is to make this kind of relationship, many studies suggest that long distance affairs have as much chance to work as proximal relationships do.
So, are you in a long distance love affair and do you want to know how to make it successful? Since you're reading this article, chances are, you are already in a long distance love or you are presented with such type of relationship. So, without further adieu, here are some tips to help you create a successful long distance relationship.
Now, first of all, when trying to make a long distance relationship work, the first thing you have to do is to make sure that you remain in contact with your partner on a daily or at least a weekly basis. Before you part ways, you should agree on what communication module you should use to communicate with each other and you can also talk about what time both of you are free to communicate.
Since studies and work are usually the reasons why couples are subjected to such type of relationship, you can be sure that your partner will be busy working or studying. You don't want to interrupt your partner while he or she's busy with his or her thing?
In order to ensure that you have a happy relationship even though there is distance between you and your partner, another thing you can do is to schedule your activities for the whole month if possible and let your partner know about it. Also, if you have sudden change of plans, make sure to let your partner know about it, as well, so that you are able to erase any sign of doubt and jealousy.
Long distance relationships lack in touch and intimacy. In order to make up for this very important factor in your relationship, you and your partner should also agree to meet at least once every month.
If in case it takes more time and more money to go to your partner or the other way around, the two of you can agree to meet in between. This way you are not only saving half the time, but each of you can save a lot of money. Plus, you also add a little mystery and adventure, which are very helpful to any relationship.
Finally, should jealousy and doubts arise between you and your partner, what you need to do is to address them instead of just giving your partner the attitude. Don't nag your partner or accuse him or her of doing something that you are not sure of. When you are addressing a certain issue in your relationship make sure that you do it in a calm way. This way you can be sure that you not only have a successful long distance relationship but a happy one as well.
Kamis, 23 November 2017
Rabu, 01 November 2017
Long Distance Relationships - 8 Tips For Making Yours Fun, Fulfilling and Successful!
"Everything would have been fine if we lived in the same town/state/country," is the common reason many men and women give for a long distance relationship not working out.
Admitted, distance can put an enormous strain on a relationship, but claiming that "distance" is the only reason a relationship didn't work out or can not work is putting your hands over your ears and shouting, "la-la-la-la-la-la- land" because the truth is too much to handle.
I've met many men and women who won't even try long distance relationships because according to them "Long distance relationships just don't work".
That simply isn't true! Long distance relationships CAN and DO work if the two individuals involved want it to. In my opinion, the question is not "Do long distance relationships work?" but rather "Do both of you want to make it work?" If you both want to make it work, distance is just another obstacle that two people who truly love each other can easily overcome -- if they really want to.
These simple to follow tips will help your long distance relationship not only survive distance, they'll also help you lay a strong foundation for a relationship that is fun, fulfilling and successful!
1. Talk at least once a week
Technology has made it easier than ever to keep in touch long distance. A few quick emails, text messages and phone calls at least once a day (or even once a week) create a sense of being fully engaged in each other's lives. Your relationship success depends on you being connected, so set aside uninterrupted talk-time to "catch up" on each other's lives.
If the other person can't make time for even a 10 minutes' conversation, but has time to go out with friends, go to a party, go the gym, cook or even sleep, get a clue, that person isn't into you as you want to think. If the other person is truly interested in you, he or she'll show all signs of not only wanting to continue the relationship but to move closer. And if s/he truly loves you that much, s/he'll not only create the time for you, s/he'll put talking to you top most priority on his/her list of things to do. You on the other hand have to be realistic and not try to suck up all his/her time because you're dripping with neediness.
2. Cultivate independent but inter-dependent lives
The time between calls and in-person reunions can be pure torture if you're spending all your time apart obsessing about the other person. You may find that you've put everything on hold to the point that no one else and nothing else is important or meaningful in life except being with him or her. You're consumed with constantly trying to test his or her love for you; doing things to try to make his or her need you, telling him or her about your "other admirers" etc. If s/he doesn't call or email you when you expect him/her to, you feel restlessness, rejected and unwanted. Some people become so needy that the other person just shuts down emotionally.
Instead of wasting so much time and emotions acting all clingy, needy and controlling, use the "distance" to develop and grow as an individual with your own independent life and who enjoys your own company. You'll feel more positively about "distance" when you feel positive about yourself, the other person, the relationship and life in general. A positive outlook is very important to the success of a LDR.
3. Let go of fear of abandonment/loss
Distance has a way of playing up anxiety and fear of the unknown. You miss him/her so much that you start imagining him/her cheating on you even when deep down you know that s/he is not the cheating type. Even when s/he has given you no reason to think that s/he might cheat, you tell yourself, "You just never know" or "Don't be a fool!"
If you are not fully prepared to trust your man or woman you have no business being in a long distance relationship because in LDRs, trust is everything. Without trust, there is little point in having the relationship. Without trust sustaining a long distance relationship is impossible.
Discuss your anxiety and fears with him or her and once you get the reassurance you need, LET IT GO. Truth is, if s/he wants to cheat, s/he will and there is nothing you can do about it. Give your mind some rest and concentrate on building a strong foundation for your relationship. It also helps for you to make extra efforts to be reliable, to do what you say you are going to do and to show that you're trustworthy. Trust cuts both ways!
4. Keep that sense of fun and romance alive
One of the most difficult things about long distance relationships is that you can't just turn to your man or woman and say "let's go for a walk in the park", or just drop in and ask him or her out for a drink. In the absence of these seemingly insignificant shared moments that most people in proximity relationships take for granted, it's easy for two people to become so stuck in the waiting, and the future, that they completely forget about now. The relationship slowly loses it's spark and eventually fades out.
To avoid this, try as much as possible to go out on "virtual dates". For example, decide to go watch the latest movie on the same day and then later call the other to share experiences, thoughts and opinions. Better yet, if time zones allow and if it's cost effective, rent a movie and watch it "together" with the other person on the phone. You can also play cards or games over the internet etc. And don't forget to flirt, seduce and tell him or her just how much s/he means to you and how much you love him or her. The important thing is to take the necessary steps to keep the sense of fun, shared interests, romance and passion alive.
5. Create a supportive environment
There'll be times when it seems like the other person is not bothered by distance, is happy that you're apart, or is having more fun. This makes you feel like you are the only one who "cares". So instead of trying to understand what's causing him or her to act that way, be supportive of whatever they're going through and encouraging of his or her efforts given what the two of you have to deal with, you start instructing, coaching, and scolding the other person for not "caring" about you or the relationship. Eventually all conversations become about how the relationship is neither right nor going anywhere. And true enough, you find yourselves living down to your own expectations.
It's had enough to have a long distance relationship without the constant nagging, instructing, coaching, and scolding of someone who consistently treats the relationship as a one person's property or business. Use that excess energy to create a supportive environment that fosters understanding, reassurance and cooperation. Sometimes all you need to do is listen. Don't judge and don't try to fix. Just listen. You can also bounce ideas off him or her, etc. Work as allies with the same goal.
6. Always have a plan for the next in-person reunion
Just knowing when you'll see each other again makes it easier to handle long distance relationships. Make the planning and preparing for the reunion a joint project. Share your thoughts and dreams of your re-union on a regular basis. This can make your coming together much more exciting, meaningful and special.
Be careful, though. Don't let expectations of how fantastic your reunion is going to be build too high as the reality often doesn't match up to the fantasy. Expect there to be awkward silences, many down times and even arguments. It's a relationship not a fantasy!
7. Make plans for one of you to move
Someone must move at some point in order to keep the relationship together. If you're both eager to stay together, then set a date for getting together - either moving in or, at least, living in the same town and "dating". However, if it's a new relationship or a relationship on shaky grounds hold off the "future together" talk until you both feel that the relationship has matured, is more stable or until the other person is ready. If the other person is not ready, it doesn't matter how much you want it, it's never going to happen. The "I am not going to wait forever" may just become "It's over"
8. Ignore people who say long distance relationships don't work
It's not easy and there are no guarantees -- same as in all relationships. But don't run away from your long-distance relationship because everyone says "Long distance relationships don't and won't work". Long distance relationships have worked and can work for you if you are willing to do the hard work. If you're both emotionally mature enough, and are devoted enough, distance can teach both of you to exercise deeper connections, and provide for objective and honest assessment of your feelings for the each other. Distance can also encourage a stronger foundation for the development of your relationship.
Admitted, distance can put an enormous strain on a relationship, but claiming that "distance" is the only reason a relationship didn't work out or can not work is putting your hands over your ears and shouting, "la-la-la-la-la-la- land" because the truth is too much to handle.
I've met many men and women who won't even try long distance relationships because according to them "Long distance relationships just don't work".
That simply isn't true! Long distance relationships CAN and DO work if the two individuals involved want it to. In my opinion, the question is not "Do long distance relationships work?" but rather "Do both of you want to make it work?" If you both want to make it work, distance is just another obstacle that two people who truly love each other can easily overcome -- if they really want to.
These simple to follow tips will help your long distance relationship not only survive distance, they'll also help you lay a strong foundation for a relationship that is fun, fulfilling and successful!
1. Talk at least once a week
Technology has made it easier than ever to keep in touch long distance. A few quick emails, text messages and phone calls at least once a day (or even once a week) create a sense of being fully engaged in each other's lives. Your relationship success depends on you being connected, so set aside uninterrupted talk-time to "catch up" on each other's lives.
If the other person can't make time for even a 10 minutes' conversation, but has time to go out with friends, go to a party, go the gym, cook or even sleep, get a clue, that person isn't into you as you want to think. If the other person is truly interested in you, he or she'll show all signs of not only wanting to continue the relationship but to move closer. And if s/he truly loves you that much, s/he'll not only create the time for you, s/he'll put talking to you top most priority on his/her list of things to do. You on the other hand have to be realistic and not try to suck up all his/her time because you're dripping with neediness.
2. Cultivate independent but inter-dependent lives
The time between calls and in-person reunions can be pure torture if you're spending all your time apart obsessing about the other person. You may find that you've put everything on hold to the point that no one else and nothing else is important or meaningful in life except being with him or her. You're consumed with constantly trying to test his or her love for you; doing things to try to make his or her need you, telling him or her about your "other admirers" etc. If s/he doesn't call or email you when you expect him/her to, you feel restlessness, rejected and unwanted. Some people become so needy that the other person just shuts down emotionally.
Instead of wasting so much time and emotions acting all clingy, needy and controlling, use the "distance" to develop and grow as an individual with your own independent life and who enjoys your own company. You'll feel more positively about "distance" when you feel positive about yourself, the other person, the relationship and life in general. A positive outlook is very important to the success of a LDR.
3. Let go of fear of abandonment/loss
Distance has a way of playing up anxiety and fear of the unknown. You miss him/her so much that you start imagining him/her cheating on you even when deep down you know that s/he is not the cheating type. Even when s/he has given you no reason to think that s/he might cheat, you tell yourself, "You just never know" or "Don't be a fool!"
If you are not fully prepared to trust your man or woman you have no business being in a long distance relationship because in LDRs, trust is everything. Without trust, there is little point in having the relationship. Without trust sustaining a long distance relationship is impossible.
Discuss your anxiety and fears with him or her and once you get the reassurance you need, LET IT GO. Truth is, if s/he wants to cheat, s/he will and there is nothing you can do about it. Give your mind some rest and concentrate on building a strong foundation for your relationship. It also helps for you to make extra efforts to be reliable, to do what you say you are going to do and to show that you're trustworthy. Trust cuts both ways!
4. Keep that sense of fun and romance alive
One of the most difficult things about long distance relationships is that you can't just turn to your man or woman and say "let's go for a walk in the park", or just drop in and ask him or her out for a drink. In the absence of these seemingly insignificant shared moments that most people in proximity relationships take for granted, it's easy for two people to become so stuck in the waiting, and the future, that they completely forget about now. The relationship slowly loses it's spark and eventually fades out.
To avoid this, try as much as possible to go out on "virtual dates". For example, decide to go watch the latest movie on the same day and then later call the other to share experiences, thoughts and opinions. Better yet, if time zones allow and if it's cost effective, rent a movie and watch it "together" with the other person on the phone. You can also play cards or games over the internet etc. And don't forget to flirt, seduce and tell him or her just how much s/he means to you and how much you love him or her. The important thing is to take the necessary steps to keep the sense of fun, shared interests, romance and passion alive.
5. Create a supportive environment
There'll be times when it seems like the other person is not bothered by distance, is happy that you're apart, or is having more fun. This makes you feel like you are the only one who "cares". So instead of trying to understand what's causing him or her to act that way, be supportive of whatever they're going through and encouraging of his or her efforts given what the two of you have to deal with, you start instructing, coaching, and scolding the other person for not "caring" about you or the relationship. Eventually all conversations become about how the relationship is neither right nor going anywhere. And true enough, you find yourselves living down to your own expectations.
It's had enough to have a long distance relationship without the constant nagging, instructing, coaching, and scolding of someone who consistently treats the relationship as a one person's property or business. Use that excess energy to create a supportive environment that fosters understanding, reassurance and cooperation. Sometimes all you need to do is listen. Don't judge and don't try to fix. Just listen. You can also bounce ideas off him or her, etc. Work as allies with the same goal.
6. Always have a plan for the next in-person reunion
Just knowing when you'll see each other again makes it easier to handle long distance relationships. Make the planning and preparing for the reunion a joint project. Share your thoughts and dreams of your re-union on a regular basis. This can make your coming together much more exciting, meaningful and special.
Be careful, though. Don't let expectations of how fantastic your reunion is going to be build too high as the reality often doesn't match up to the fantasy. Expect there to be awkward silences, many down times and even arguments. It's a relationship not a fantasy!
7. Make plans for one of you to move
Someone must move at some point in order to keep the relationship together. If you're both eager to stay together, then set a date for getting together - either moving in or, at least, living in the same town and "dating". However, if it's a new relationship or a relationship on shaky grounds hold off the "future together" talk until you both feel that the relationship has matured, is more stable or until the other person is ready. If the other person is not ready, it doesn't matter how much you want it, it's never going to happen. The "I am not going to wait forever" may just become "It's over"
8. Ignore people who say long distance relationships don't work
It's not easy and there are no guarantees -- same as in all relationships. But don't run away from your long-distance relationship because everyone says "Long distance relationships don't and won't work". Long distance relationships have worked and can work for you if you are willing to do the hard work. If you're both emotionally mature enough, and are devoted enough, distance can teach both of you to exercise deeper connections, and provide for objective and honest assessment of your feelings for the each other. Distance can also encourage a stronger foundation for the development of your relationship.
Sabtu, 21 Oktober 2017
Saving A Long Distance Relationship - The 5 Keys To A Successful Long Distance Relationship
I'm here to answer all of your questions about saving a long distance relationship. Are you in a stressful long distance relationship? Are things not quite going as you both planned? Is it getting harder and harder to trust one another? All of these things are common when it comes to trying to make a long distance relationship work. If you answered yes to all those questions then you definitely came to the right place. I am going to give you five keys to saving a long distance relationship. You have to really care for someone to even start a relationship from miles away or remain in a relationship when it's going to become long distance. I'm sure this article is going to better your situation and enhance the passion between you too even if it's from many miles away.
Key #1
Making time to talk every day is the most important thing you can do for you long distance relationship. You have to set time aside every single day to talk to your partner. Even if it's just for an hour; it's crucial to keep the closeness of the relationship going. Don't pick a time when you're on your way somewhere or have any kinds of distractions. All a distracted environment will do is make your partner feel unimportant and ignored. Not being able to be close to one another is hard on both of you so it's very essential to insure that there is no confusion about what your priorities are
Key #2
Over communicating is another good practice when you are in a long distance relationship. It's hard to trust in the fact that your love isn't out there creeping behind your back. Communicating the little details will help eliminate this problem drastically. Make sure you know each others schedules and all the little daily routines that you both due. A simple text once you've left work and got home goes a long way. Sharing your frustration about the traffic or an issue at work is just as important as the major things that go on in your life whether its losing your job or the loss of a loved one. You have to treat all conversations as you would if you were living under the same roof.
Key #3
Just because you aren't in the same state doesn't mean you can't go on romantic dates from time to time. Set up times to watch the same movie and discuss it over the phone with one another. Find an online game you too can play together; it's amazing how much fun it can be. The advances in technology are infinite, there's Skype, AIM, texts, picture messaging, and the list goes on. There are all these different ways to communicate and even see one another. Web chat dates are awesome it makes you feel so much closer to them and gives you the opportunity to talk face to face. This keeps having the "out of sight, out of mind" mentality completely out of the picture. This way if there are any feelings floating around about the eye to eye contact the long distance dates will definitely help in saving a long distance relationship.
Key #4
In high school it was always nice to get a note from that special someone or even just from a best friend. Adapt that system and make it your own. Email has made it so easy to be lazy and make us forget that we know how to use a pen and paper. Write them a letter telling them why you love them and what saving a long distance relationship like yours means to you. Seeing your hand writing and smelling your scent on the paper will immediately make them feel right next to you. It creates a sort of excitement waiting for them to get the letter and then anticipating the reply in the mail. It's wonderful what the different forms of communication will do for how you feel about each other as well as the closeness you feel.
Key #5
Last but certainly not least; saving a long distance relationship takes an optimistic mind. You cannot get negative and spend time repeating over and over that you miss each other and how hard this is. You have to remind each other how much you love each other and how this long distance is worth it. Tell them that you'll see each other soon. Also make sure you're making plans to see one another. Southwest Airlines is very affordable so there is always a way to make it work. Show them that you're going to do whatever it takes to make your long distance relationship survive.
The 5 keys mentioned above are very effective and will work wonders for anyone interested in saving a long distance relationship. But some situations may call for more unconventional tactics that are guaranteed to work. But these secrets are proven to work so well at saving a long distance relationship that they have been labeled as controversial and even dangerous if used by individuals with ill intentions. So before I share with you the secret weapon let me first say that this is NOT for stalkers, ex convicts, people with severe mental problems or other crazies, cuckoos or whack jobs. If you do not fit into one of the above categories then I invite you to consider the statement below.
Key #1
Making time to talk every day is the most important thing you can do for you long distance relationship. You have to set time aside every single day to talk to your partner. Even if it's just for an hour; it's crucial to keep the closeness of the relationship going. Don't pick a time when you're on your way somewhere or have any kinds of distractions. All a distracted environment will do is make your partner feel unimportant and ignored. Not being able to be close to one another is hard on both of you so it's very essential to insure that there is no confusion about what your priorities are
Key #2
Over communicating is another good practice when you are in a long distance relationship. It's hard to trust in the fact that your love isn't out there creeping behind your back. Communicating the little details will help eliminate this problem drastically. Make sure you know each others schedules and all the little daily routines that you both due. A simple text once you've left work and got home goes a long way. Sharing your frustration about the traffic or an issue at work is just as important as the major things that go on in your life whether its losing your job or the loss of a loved one. You have to treat all conversations as you would if you were living under the same roof.
Key #3
Just because you aren't in the same state doesn't mean you can't go on romantic dates from time to time. Set up times to watch the same movie and discuss it over the phone with one another. Find an online game you too can play together; it's amazing how much fun it can be. The advances in technology are infinite, there's Skype, AIM, texts, picture messaging, and the list goes on. There are all these different ways to communicate and even see one another. Web chat dates are awesome it makes you feel so much closer to them and gives you the opportunity to talk face to face. This keeps having the "out of sight, out of mind" mentality completely out of the picture. This way if there are any feelings floating around about the eye to eye contact the long distance dates will definitely help in saving a long distance relationship.
Key #4
In high school it was always nice to get a note from that special someone or even just from a best friend. Adapt that system and make it your own. Email has made it so easy to be lazy and make us forget that we know how to use a pen and paper. Write them a letter telling them why you love them and what saving a long distance relationship like yours means to you. Seeing your hand writing and smelling your scent on the paper will immediately make them feel right next to you. It creates a sort of excitement waiting for them to get the letter and then anticipating the reply in the mail. It's wonderful what the different forms of communication will do for how you feel about each other as well as the closeness you feel.
Key #5
Last but certainly not least; saving a long distance relationship takes an optimistic mind. You cannot get negative and spend time repeating over and over that you miss each other and how hard this is. You have to remind each other how much you love each other and how this long distance is worth it. Tell them that you'll see each other soon. Also make sure you're making plans to see one another. Southwest Airlines is very affordable so there is always a way to make it work. Show them that you're going to do whatever it takes to make your long distance relationship survive.
The 5 keys mentioned above are very effective and will work wonders for anyone interested in saving a long distance relationship. But some situations may call for more unconventional tactics that are guaranteed to work. But these secrets are proven to work so well at saving a long distance relationship that they have been labeled as controversial and even dangerous if used by individuals with ill intentions. So before I share with you the secret weapon let me first say that this is NOT for stalkers, ex convicts, people with severe mental problems or other crazies, cuckoos or whack jobs. If you do not fit into one of the above categories then I invite you to consider the statement below.
Rabu, 11 Oktober 2017
Tips On Dealing With Long Distance Relationships
Everyone knows how frustrating to fall in love with someone who lives hundreds of miles away. Not being able to go on dates and get kissed or intimate with the person you love can sometimes make even those with strong hearts to question if there are effective ways in dealing with long distance relationships.
Long distance relationships surely take a lot of work. You always need to keep tabs on your partner and make sure that your partner's being faithful. Just this alone can almost make you lose your grip on sanity. You also need to keep your communication open or else you may end up having a break up.
However, these type of relationships really aren't that bad though. In recent studies, the Center for the Study of long distance relationships said that almost 3.75 million marriages are considered long distance relationships. The center's study also said that millions of college students are also involved in relationships where their partner is far away.
Now, to those who are involved and are trying to find ways how to deal with distance in a relationship in college, here are some things that can help you.
The very first thing you need in dealing with distance in a relationship is to make sure that both sides trust the other completely. Trust can help decrease or even eliminate negative thoughts and feelings such as insecurity, jealousy, doubts and fears, which are the main reasons for break up.
There are many different ways on making sure that both sides trust each other completely. One such way is to avoid telling lies. No matter how small or insignificant the lie may be, make sure you prevent yourself from ever lying to your partner. Once you start to lie, and your partner finds out about it, then your partner will have a hard time believing in some of the things you tell him or her.
The second relationship help tip is for you to establish rules for your relationship. Now, when establishing rules in order to deal with your romance, you need to agree on how many times per day you need to call each other, what time you should contact each other, who you can go out with, when you can see each other, and stuff like that. You also need to establish a rule on how you can address the problems of your relationship.
If you establish ground rules for your relationship and follow them thoroughly, you can be sure that you'll be able to deal with your relationship and maybe even help make it grow into something much deeper and meaningful such as marriage.
Dealing with long distance relationships may take effort and time.It can get tiring and confusing from time to time. However, if you make rules and you trust each other completely, you can make it work. But these are only two of the many methods on how to deal with long distance relationship in college. There are still so many things that you need to learn in order to make your relationship work.
Long distance relationships surely take a lot of work. You always need to keep tabs on your partner and make sure that your partner's being faithful. Just this alone can almost make you lose your grip on sanity. You also need to keep your communication open or else you may end up having a break up.
However, these type of relationships really aren't that bad though. In recent studies, the Center for the Study of long distance relationships said that almost 3.75 million marriages are considered long distance relationships. The center's study also said that millions of college students are also involved in relationships where their partner is far away.
Now, to those who are involved and are trying to find ways how to deal with distance in a relationship in college, here are some things that can help you.
The very first thing you need in dealing with distance in a relationship is to make sure that both sides trust the other completely. Trust can help decrease or even eliminate negative thoughts and feelings such as insecurity, jealousy, doubts and fears, which are the main reasons for break up.
There are many different ways on making sure that both sides trust each other completely. One such way is to avoid telling lies. No matter how small or insignificant the lie may be, make sure you prevent yourself from ever lying to your partner. Once you start to lie, and your partner finds out about it, then your partner will have a hard time believing in some of the things you tell him or her.
The second relationship help tip is for you to establish rules for your relationship. Now, when establishing rules in order to deal with your romance, you need to agree on how many times per day you need to call each other, what time you should contact each other, who you can go out with, when you can see each other, and stuff like that. You also need to establish a rule on how you can address the problems of your relationship.
If you establish ground rules for your relationship and follow them thoroughly, you can be sure that you'll be able to deal with your relationship and maybe even help make it grow into something much deeper and meaningful such as marriage.
Dealing with long distance relationships may take effort and time.It can get tiring and confusing from time to time. However, if you make rules and you trust each other completely, you can make it work. But these are only two of the many methods on how to deal with long distance relationship in college. There are still so many things that you need to learn in order to make your relationship work.
Kamis, 28 September 2017
Successful Long Distance Relationships - The 7 Key Secrets Of Successful Long Distance Relationships
Long distance relationships are becoming more common as people travel far away for work, study, or reasons beyond their control. While always challenging, there are ways to make relationships thrive despite the distance. Here are my 7 top tips for building successful long distance relationships....
1. Plan your long distance relationship
Make time for a serious heart-to-heart discussion with your partner. Face up to all the challenges that you are likely to experience through being so far apart from each other. Be honest and talk about all the 'what ifs' and plan what you can do when those occur as they surely will. Make contingency plans for your insecurities, your sexual needs, and what you need to put in place to keep the relationship thriving. The people that enjoy successful long distance relationships do not leave things to chance. By planning ahead, you strengthen your relationship commitment and build your resolve to make it work.
2. Keep the communication lines open
If you are hundreds or thousands of miles apart, it is easy to feel 'separated'. Successful long distance relationships require daily interaction and sharing (the 'relating' to each other bit). Phones, email, texting, postal mail, and web cams... you must use them all. Remember that there is a hierarchy of value to these communication systems. Your best bet is to use a combination of web cam and an internet phone like Skype, so that you can see and talk to each other. Texts and emails are great for short little notes but no more than that as they are so open to misinterpretation. Make sure to send gifts, photos, home movie clips, and traditional love letters via postal mail too. There is nothing quite so rewarding as receiving a package from a distant loved one -- it lets your partner know how much you care about them and are thinking of them.
3. Romantic ideas for long distance relationships
So how do you stay romantic during a long distance relationship? Romance is built on thoughtfulness, creativity and shared experiences of intimacy and joy. There are lots of ways you can demonstrate your romantic side, however far apart you are. Most important to your partner is being reassured that they are still loved and that you are thinking about them despite all the distractions of life where you are. Keep them in your heart by making a commitment to staying in regular contact. Send thoughtful and romantic care packages, as discussed, by mail. And make time for alone time together on your web cam internet phone get-togethers. One of the most romantic things you can do for successful long distance relationships is plan your future together. Talk about what you are going to do in the future. Always speak in terms of how much you are looking forward to being with them physically and sharing a life together. Plan what you are going to do when you meet up next time. And make the most of your memories and shared experiences. Talking about the fun things that you have done and will do is great strategy for keeping the chemistry alive in any romantic relationship. Be sure to give your partner regular and frequent re-assurance of your love and commitment. Watch out for misunderstanding and strive to get clarity in all your communications with your long-distance partner. Make sure when you are on the phone or web cam that you are alone. That way you can express yourselves better and there will be nothing to distract you.
4. Coping with sexual frustration and temptation
If you are healthy, you are going to be horny and it's hard to get satisfaction if your partner is the other side of the country, or worse, the world. It is essential that you are both perfectly clear on the boundaries of the relationship. Some people are okay with the idea of their partners seeing other people while they are apart. But most are not. Clarify your own relationship and the level of commitment you are willing to give each other. Assess the likelihood of temptations. If your sweetie is off to college on the West Coast while you are going to college on the East Coast, you have to decide how strong your relationship is because you are both going to face major temptation in the form of other people who are actually there in front of you. Every couple is unique and only the pair of you can decide whether you can realistically commit. The secret is to maintain those communication lines and include lots of time for high-tech intimacy in the form of phone sex and web cam sex. Obviously you need a high level of trust in a relationship to do this, as you do not want to discover your beloved has posted your naked pictures online! Successful long distance relationships make provisions for sexual frustration by scheduling 'fun' time. More than that they focus on the experience of intimacy and depth and that is part of all your communications. The more you reveal of your true self the closer the relationship becomes. As for coping with temptation, this is where your commitment comes into play and the future planning that you do. Most people can get by on the promise of the hot stuff! Just make sure you carry through on what you say you are going to do to each other when you meet up!
5. Overcoming feelings of jealousy and fears of cheating
All romantic relationships can experience jealousy and fears about cheating, but generally long distance relationships take longer to resolve those feelings. The grass always seems greener on the other side especially if one partner has gone away somewhere exciting while the other is at home. If every time you talk to your beloved there appears to be a party on in the background, no wonder you feel jealous. The important thing is to not beat yourself up about it. It's natural to feel a bit jealous and insecure. It is going to happen, so accept it and do not let it escalate. Maintain your own high self-esteem and high self-worth. Keep doing the things that you enjoy doing. You are a valuable, attractive, interesting person. It's important for your own mental health that you adopt the attitude that your partner is lucky to have you in their life. Think that you are the best choice for them. Successful long distance relationships use the distance to have a clearer perspective on the relationship. Acknowledge the reality that you could form a successful relationship with any number of people. But you have chosen to build a wonderful relationship with this person who just happens to be a long distance away at this time. With this perspective your relationship is always based on choice. With you choosing to create a loving relationship rather than it being about neediness, craving or thinking this is the one and only.
6. Dealing with doubt about your feelings
Accept that it is natural for your enthusiasm to lessen at times. All relationships wax and wane, so refuse to see it as indicative of a failing relationship. Do not be afraid to express your feelings within a context that is safe. If you have planned well, you will have provided for this eventuality and you will both know that it is just a natural part of being apart. Evaluate where you are and where you are headed in the relationship. Make sure that you have shared relationship goals to aim for and that you are actively talking about your next physical meeting and any future life plans. People who live very much in the moment can often find it harder to maintain touch with their feelings for someone while apart. If that is you, make sure both you and your partner understand that you might not be as demonstrative from a distance. In this situation, it is best to try and schedule more regular meetings if possible. But it is also important, for your life not just your relationship, that you gain a better and longer time perspective. The most successful people financially are those who think and plan 10, 20, 30 years ahead. The same is true in relationships. Successful long distance relationships occur when both parties see the separation as temporary and having a finite duration, and that they are building towards a future together
7. Successful relationships at a distance and close-up
Ultimately you want to find out how to successfully love another person and how to create a blissful relationship. The fact that you are going to be apart for a while is just another challenge that you need to rise to. Relationships are full of challenges. Things are always coming along to throw you off balance. That is life. The trick is to adapt and overcome life's challenges. In traditional wedding vows, the couple make promises to each other that they love, respect and care for each other through thick and thin, in rich times and poor times. There is a real magic in a commitment like that. Making a vow of that nature builds deep love between two people. Deep love is something you can only experience with time and commitment. It enriches your soul. You feel fulfilled by it to your very marrow. Successful long distance relationships are built by people committed to love and being loving to each other. Love is a verb. It is something that you can choose to do. Often times choosing to love involves hard work. But the rewards it pays outweigh anything else you can get from this world.
1. Plan your long distance relationship
Make time for a serious heart-to-heart discussion with your partner. Face up to all the challenges that you are likely to experience through being so far apart from each other. Be honest and talk about all the 'what ifs' and plan what you can do when those occur as they surely will. Make contingency plans for your insecurities, your sexual needs, and what you need to put in place to keep the relationship thriving. The people that enjoy successful long distance relationships do not leave things to chance. By planning ahead, you strengthen your relationship commitment and build your resolve to make it work.
2. Keep the communication lines open
If you are hundreds or thousands of miles apart, it is easy to feel 'separated'. Successful long distance relationships require daily interaction and sharing (the 'relating' to each other bit). Phones, email, texting, postal mail, and web cams... you must use them all. Remember that there is a hierarchy of value to these communication systems. Your best bet is to use a combination of web cam and an internet phone like Skype, so that you can see and talk to each other. Texts and emails are great for short little notes but no more than that as they are so open to misinterpretation. Make sure to send gifts, photos, home movie clips, and traditional love letters via postal mail too. There is nothing quite so rewarding as receiving a package from a distant loved one -- it lets your partner know how much you care about them and are thinking of them.
3. Romantic ideas for long distance relationships
So how do you stay romantic during a long distance relationship? Romance is built on thoughtfulness, creativity and shared experiences of intimacy and joy. There are lots of ways you can demonstrate your romantic side, however far apart you are. Most important to your partner is being reassured that they are still loved and that you are thinking about them despite all the distractions of life where you are. Keep them in your heart by making a commitment to staying in regular contact. Send thoughtful and romantic care packages, as discussed, by mail. And make time for alone time together on your web cam internet phone get-togethers. One of the most romantic things you can do for successful long distance relationships is plan your future together. Talk about what you are going to do in the future. Always speak in terms of how much you are looking forward to being with them physically and sharing a life together. Plan what you are going to do when you meet up next time. And make the most of your memories and shared experiences. Talking about the fun things that you have done and will do is great strategy for keeping the chemistry alive in any romantic relationship. Be sure to give your partner regular and frequent re-assurance of your love and commitment. Watch out for misunderstanding and strive to get clarity in all your communications with your long-distance partner. Make sure when you are on the phone or web cam that you are alone. That way you can express yourselves better and there will be nothing to distract you.
4. Coping with sexual frustration and temptation
If you are healthy, you are going to be horny and it's hard to get satisfaction if your partner is the other side of the country, or worse, the world. It is essential that you are both perfectly clear on the boundaries of the relationship. Some people are okay with the idea of their partners seeing other people while they are apart. But most are not. Clarify your own relationship and the level of commitment you are willing to give each other. Assess the likelihood of temptations. If your sweetie is off to college on the West Coast while you are going to college on the East Coast, you have to decide how strong your relationship is because you are both going to face major temptation in the form of other people who are actually there in front of you. Every couple is unique and only the pair of you can decide whether you can realistically commit. The secret is to maintain those communication lines and include lots of time for high-tech intimacy in the form of phone sex and web cam sex. Obviously you need a high level of trust in a relationship to do this, as you do not want to discover your beloved has posted your naked pictures online! Successful long distance relationships make provisions for sexual frustration by scheduling 'fun' time. More than that they focus on the experience of intimacy and depth and that is part of all your communications. The more you reveal of your true self the closer the relationship becomes. As for coping with temptation, this is where your commitment comes into play and the future planning that you do. Most people can get by on the promise of the hot stuff! Just make sure you carry through on what you say you are going to do to each other when you meet up!
5. Overcoming feelings of jealousy and fears of cheating
All romantic relationships can experience jealousy and fears about cheating, but generally long distance relationships take longer to resolve those feelings. The grass always seems greener on the other side especially if one partner has gone away somewhere exciting while the other is at home. If every time you talk to your beloved there appears to be a party on in the background, no wonder you feel jealous. The important thing is to not beat yourself up about it. It's natural to feel a bit jealous and insecure. It is going to happen, so accept it and do not let it escalate. Maintain your own high self-esteem and high self-worth. Keep doing the things that you enjoy doing. You are a valuable, attractive, interesting person. It's important for your own mental health that you adopt the attitude that your partner is lucky to have you in their life. Think that you are the best choice for them. Successful long distance relationships use the distance to have a clearer perspective on the relationship. Acknowledge the reality that you could form a successful relationship with any number of people. But you have chosen to build a wonderful relationship with this person who just happens to be a long distance away at this time. With this perspective your relationship is always based on choice. With you choosing to create a loving relationship rather than it being about neediness, craving or thinking this is the one and only.
6. Dealing with doubt about your feelings
Accept that it is natural for your enthusiasm to lessen at times. All relationships wax and wane, so refuse to see it as indicative of a failing relationship. Do not be afraid to express your feelings within a context that is safe. If you have planned well, you will have provided for this eventuality and you will both know that it is just a natural part of being apart. Evaluate where you are and where you are headed in the relationship. Make sure that you have shared relationship goals to aim for and that you are actively talking about your next physical meeting and any future life plans. People who live very much in the moment can often find it harder to maintain touch with their feelings for someone while apart. If that is you, make sure both you and your partner understand that you might not be as demonstrative from a distance. In this situation, it is best to try and schedule more regular meetings if possible. But it is also important, for your life not just your relationship, that you gain a better and longer time perspective. The most successful people financially are those who think and plan 10, 20, 30 years ahead. The same is true in relationships. Successful long distance relationships occur when both parties see the separation as temporary and having a finite duration, and that they are building towards a future together
7. Successful relationships at a distance and close-up
Ultimately you want to find out how to successfully love another person and how to create a blissful relationship. The fact that you are going to be apart for a while is just another challenge that you need to rise to. Relationships are full of challenges. Things are always coming along to throw you off balance. That is life. The trick is to adapt and overcome life's challenges. In traditional wedding vows, the couple make promises to each other that they love, respect and care for each other through thick and thin, in rich times and poor times. There is a real magic in a commitment like that. Making a vow of that nature builds deep love between two people. Deep love is something you can only experience with time and commitment. It enriches your soul. You feel fulfilled by it to your very marrow. Successful long distance relationships are built by people committed to love and being loving to each other. Love is a verb. It is something that you can choose to do. Often times choosing to love involves hard work. But the rewards it pays outweigh anything else you can get from this world.
Sabtu, 09 September 2017
How to Survive a Long Distance Relationship - 4 Tips You Need to Help Make Your Relationship Last
A relationship can sometimes be difficult to cope with; even harder when it's a long distance relationship. Sometimes you just can't help your feelings. Whether you're in a situation where you and your high school sweetheart are going to different colleges, your college love is away for the summer, your spouse is off fighting in a war or you just found someone online you can't live without, you're probably wondering, "How to survive a long distance relationship?" While it's not the easiest to do, it is possible to survive months (or years) away from your significant other and still have a love that grows strong. Countless couples have survived these types of relationships using the following four tips.
Tip 1 - Patience
Probably one of the hardest values to learn is patience especially in a long distance relationship. People, or rather couples, understand this notion better when they are closer together. In these relationships, you don't exactly get that luxury. Patience means having understanding for little intricacies your significant other might have.
Tip 2 - Don't Be Clingy
The main difference between a long distance relationship and a normal relationship is that you don't see each other all the time you want. You may spend every moment you can talking on the phone or online. Unfortunately, this can appear extremely clingy especially if you start sending text messages constantly wondering who your significant other is with, what he/she is doing, when he/she will be around to talk to you again, etc. Relationships often fall apart for this very reason. Just because you don't see each other every day doesn't mean your significant other has to spend all of his/her time talking to you. He/she still has a life to live outside of his/her online relationship right now.
Tip 3 - Don't Forget
While there's the possibility of being too clingy, on the flip side of it is the realization that you have freedoms besides getting the benefits of being a couple. Do not start dating someone else just because your mate is not going to find out. If you're not ready to make a commitment, don't think about having a long distance relationship; it will never work. You still need to make time for the relationship just as if your boyfriend/girlfriend lived down the block. Relationships take consideration and if you're not considerate enough to spend time chatting with your long distance fling then you need to let it go.
Tip 4 - Perseverance
Last but not least you need to have the perseverance for a long distance relationship. What this means is that you are willing to put work towards your relationship. Sometimes it's easier to leave a long distance relationship because your mate isn't there. However, don't try to back out of a relationship (any relationship) just because there are a few rocks along the path. Relationships take work and a relationship across the miles takes even more work. If you're willing to put forth the effort, you're going to find it's easier to survive the distance.
Many long distance relationships have folded in on themselves because people don't know how to deal with being away from someone they love for long periods of time. If you really ask yourself, "How to survive a long distance relationship?" be ready to receive answers and put those answers to the test. You will find your relationship lasts and both you and your mate are happier for it.
Tip 1 - Patience
Probably one of the hardest values to learn is patience especially in a long distance relationship. People, or rather couples, understand this notion better when they are closer together. In these relationships, you don't exactly get that luxury. Patience means having understanding for little intricacies your significant other might have.
Tip 2 - Don't Be Clingy
The main difference between a long distance relationship and a normal relationship is that you don't see each other all the time you want. You may spend every moment you can talking on the phone or online. Unfortunately, this can appear extremely clingy especially if you start sending text messages constantly wondering who your significant other is with, what he/she is doing, when he/she will be around to talk to you again, etc. Relationships often fall apart for this very reason. Just because you don't see each other every day doesn't mean your significant other has to spend all of his/her time talking to you. He/she still has a life to live outside of his/her online relationship right now.
Tip 3 - Don't Forget
While there's the possibility of being too clingy, on the flip side of it is the realization that you have freedoms besides getting the benefits of being a couple. Do not start dating someone else just because your mate is not going to find out. If you're not ready to make a commitment, don't think about having a long distance relationship; it will never work. You still need to make time for the relationship just as if your boyfriend/girlfriend lived down the block. Relationships take consideration and if you're not considerate enough to spend time chatting with your long distance fling then you need to let it go.
Tip 4 - Perseverance
Last but not least you need to have the perseverance for a long distance relationship. What this means is that you are willing to put work towards your relationship. Sometimes it's easier to leave a long distance relationship because your mate isn't there. However, don't try to back out of a relationship (any relationship) just because there are a few rocks along the path. Relationships take work and a relationship across the miles takes even more work. If you're willing to put forth the effort, you're going to find it's easier to survive the distance.
Many long distance relationships have folded in on themselves because people don't know how to deal with being away from someone they love for long periods of time. If you really ask yourself, "How to survive a long distance relationship?" be ready to receive answers and put those answers to the test. You will find your relationship lasts and both you and your mate are happier for it.
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